Even the GOP Rags are Ragging

Mark sends along this from his hometown wingnut newspaper, the Boston Herald - HARDLY a paper which would call Bush any names or anything, but they proclaim...

Experts: It's Alfred E. Neuman vs. Sen. Kerry

Note to George W: Next time, lose the blue tie, drop the folksy double talk and stand up straight.

That's the advice from local image pros who watched Sen. John F. Kerry and President Bush duke it out in Dade County last night.

"Bush's folksy platitudes fell flat," said Tobe Berkovitz, associate dean at Boston University's College of Communications. "His pleading tone lacked power, and staying on message only works if the message works."

Julie Foley, a certified image consultant and founder of The Consultant of Style in Weymouth, said while Bush's lighter grey suit and blue tie conveyed warmth, Kerry diminished Bush's style by sporting a very presidential dark suit and red tie.

"Red is power," she said. "Kerry dressed like a president and has stately body language. The president also slouched terribly. He was leaning on the podium, and I know he's a relaxed guy, but I can't believe he didn't stand up straight. I think his mother is going to be all over him."

Comedian Tony V, who, at 10:15 p.m. was "still as confused as when they started," admitted he liked the president's down-to-earth demeanor.

"George Bush sounds like someone you want to talk to," he said. "I read somewhere people choose a president they'd like to have a beer with. Me, I'd rather choose a president and go out with people I like. I feel bad. He reminds me of Fredo in `The Godfather.' I can hear him saying: 'I'm smart. I know things. I'm not stupid.'"

While Berkovitz and Foley both faulted Bush for sighing a tad too much, Tony V didn't mind. He was much more distracted by the really important issues.

"I can't get it out of my head," he said. "George W. looked like Alfred E. Neuman. And Kerry looks like he was born with a suit on."

Tony would be funny if he weren't so - oh, I think the word is flip-floppy.