MR. SECRETARY GENERAL, Mr. President, distinguished delegates, ladies and gentlemen: Twenty-four months ago — and yesterday in the memory of America — the center of New York City became a battlefield, and a graveyard, and the symbol of an unfinished war. Since that day, terrorists have struck in Bali, Mombassa, in Casablanca, in Riyadh, in Jakarta, in Jerusalem — measuring the advance of their cause in the chaos and innocent suffering they leave behind.Dear friends - I am really really REALLY sick of President Flightsuit believing that all terrorists are all coming from the same place and the same organization. Hence the name (as if it were a crosstown rival team), "The Terrorists." But these are complex times and the president likes simple - because simple people are happy people.
Last month, terrorists brought their war to the United Nations itself. The UN headquarters in Baghdad stood for order and compassion — and for that reason, the terrorists decided it must be destroyed.
However, there's a problem with his message. He's not talking to red states. He's not talking to a group of awestruck garment workers. He's not talking to the bobblehead choir of talkshow hosts for which he can do no wrong.
He's talking to the leaders of the rest of the planet. They're not as naive as Bush thinks Americans are. They know that all these terrorists of which he speaks are not all from the same team. They know that the terrorists who perpetrated 9.11 are not the ones who blow up buses in Israel. And neither of those were the ones suspected of bus-bombing the U.N. in Baghdad. In other words, he's trying to do to the world what he's done to us - lie.
One minute into his speech, he lied - trying desperately to convince the United Freaking Nations that all the same people are trying to kill us all. He painted the grim picture of terrorists getting WMDs and "nucular" weapons to destroy the rest of the world.
He says this to a gathering of nations which knows the one simple truth that has held up throughout history: TERRORISM DOES NOT WORK. It destroys. It disrupts. It kills. But there has not been an instance where a strong-willed country has ever fallen to terrorists. Just don't tell Bush that. It's his number one campaign point for the next year. And he'll prey on our fears and tap into our nightmares to get votes. Terrorism works against the weak, and it's working like a charm on this president.
Bush would rather send that message of fear and dread (with some global child molestation thrown in for good measure) to the United Nations than one of strength and resolve. Sick minds create and exploit sick scenarios.
It's time to cure America (and the world) of this sickness. It's time to send President Pilotpants back to Crawford, Texas where he can send fear and dread into his ranchhands all he wants to - just to show them who's boss.
Just as long as he's not ours.