For each minute of his opening remarks, drink a 40 oz. Schlitz.
Each time he uses the word "tough," take a bite out of your coffee table.
If he calls on "Stretch" among the first three reporters, down a bottle of vodka.
Every time he smiles when he shouldn't be smiling, take three bong hits.
If you haven't passed out by the fifth question, eat everything in your refrigerator.
Enjoy the show!
