Friday, September 17

Bill Maher

A few nuggets mined from this morning's L.A. Times, starting with the Real Time host.
From Campaign Trail to Ho Chi Minh Trail
Let's trade that Iraqi quagmire for another Swift boat spin down the Mekong Delta

Let's stop re-fighting the Vietnam War on the campaign trail and re-fight it where it'll do some good: in Vietnam. That's right, let's stop mucking around and just...reinvade Vietnam.

Now, some of you are saying, Bill, we can't bomb Vietnam. Who's going to make our sneakers? And if no one makes the sneakers, who's going to make the big endorsement deals? And without those, how do basketball players pay for their pricey rape lawyers? Yes, it's like a row of dominos. That's why they call it Vietnam.

I know that we didn't win it last time - but we will this time because, if you read the papers, you'll see that since Vietnam we've mastered this whole guerrilla insurgency thing.

Plus, Vietnam doesn't have any weapons of mass destruction or any links to 9/11 or any ties to Al Qaeda.

They're practically asking for it!

But this isn't about them anyway. It's about us, and our need for closure and completion and all that other stuff Dr. Phil talks about. This will allow us to move forward, into a shining future, so that decades from now, the president - whichever of the Bush twins it is - can say: Our national nightmare is truly over. Vietnam is behind us. Now let's go kick the heck out of Peru.